Between January and August of last year, 455,000 women left the workforce, according to Catalyst. This same study found that 42% of these women left involuntarily — a rate that jumps higher, to 53%, among women of color. With higher rates of burnout among women (an average of 29% of women in leadership compared to 19% of men), it may come as no surprise that significant career changes have become increasingly common. In fact, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics data shows that the average career switch takes place at age 39.
These transitions, whether chosen or forced, expose an uncomfortable truth: for many people, identity is too wrapped up in work. When someone is forced to change roles — or their position disappears — they may face a crisis, not just of what to do next, but of who they are. That’s why rebuilding a sense of self beyond a job isn’t just helpful. It’s essential. By creating resilience, you can be better prepared for whatever comes next, whether it results from layoff, burnout, or something else.
Here’s how to start, according to leadership coaches and advisors including Belinda Pruyne, Rachel Tenenbaum, and Gena Chieco.
1. Separate feelings from facts
“Feelings are valid, but you don’t want them to drive the decisions you make,” explains Pruyne. When you leave a job, it’s easy to believe that your identity and your title are one in the same. But that’s not true.
2. Give yourself permission to grieve
Even if you’re moving toward something better, you may still experience a sense of loss. That’s why it’s so important to give yourself time to release what you’re stepping away from instead of simply rushing to the next step, says Tenenbaum. This frees up space to enter the unknown, open to discovery.
3. Get clear on your core values
This is less “shopping” from a list of words and more determining “what your non-negotiables are, what you can’t live without, and what that means to you,” says Tenenbaum. It requires reflection and contemplation. Some ways to figure this out: consider what lights you up and when you feel most connected. This, in turn, will help open possibilities and determine the type of impact you have through your work.
4. Identify your unique genius
This isn’t just what you’re good at — it’s what makes you come alive. “Think of it as the constellation of skills, strengths, talents, and gifts that light you up,” explains Chieco. As Pruyne notes, this is your "value add beyond the job specs:" what made you successful that you might take for granted because it comes naturally. Reflect on moments in your life when you felt most proud. Or, if that feels difficult, you can use assessments to help tease them out.
5. Acknowledge the constraints you’ve put on yourself
Have you told yourself that you can only do jobs with a certain title? Or that you’re not good at certain things? As Pruyne notes, it's about "not contorting and twisting to fit into a mold." Challenge yourself to think about what the more expansive version might be, whether that’s stretching beyond a specific title, industry, or job type. Swap limits for possibilities.
6. Make a daily practice of what feeds you
For Tenenbaum, this looks like a daily list of 10 things that light her up each day, outside of the tasks or responsibilities that might live on a to-do list. By paying attention to what nourishes you, you’ll prime your brain to see more and more examples of this. “This practice can reveal themes, allowing you to uncover what matters to you to help you reorient toward that,” Tenenbaum says.
7. Pursue creativity and play for joy, not achievement
This gets you out of a narrow focus on how you can monetize yourself and your skills and pulls you away from a competitive mindset. Play gives you permission to experiment with provisional selves you may have written off previously. As Chieco emphasizes, this means shedding perfectionism and embracing a beginner's mindset, allowing more possibilities to reveal themselves.
8. Notice your saboteurs — and then choose not to listen to them
The voices that say “who are you to think that?” That judge you. That make you feel silly. Tenenbaum calls these your “saboteurs,” and they don’t have your best interests in mind. They’re not there to protect you. When they pop up, ask yourself: does this thought make me feel expansive or contractive? Then make the conscious choice to nurture what feeds your soul instead.
9. Build your support system
Change of any kind isn’t easy and it’s not meant to be navigated alone. Drop your ego and ask for help. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Seek out groups that offer help — and allow you to expand your reach, suggests Pruyne.
10. Separate worth and productivity
As Chieco puts it, there's a pervasive belief that "our entire value as humans comes down to what we do professionally,” that we need to be cogs in a machine, producing. This emphasis on productivity keeps us stuck and often leads to burnout. Instead, remember that you’re a human being, not just a human doing. Rest isn't a reward for productivity; it's a requirement for sustainable work and a full life.
11. Get specific about what you love
Make an expansive list of everything you love to do. “Get your detail brush out. No broad strokes — they keep you at a distance from what’s really going on,” Pruyne encourages. When you create that list, consider what problems they solve. What value they bring. From there, it becomes much easier to pinpoint those sweet spots where your values meet real needs.
12. Rewrite your unconscious agreements
“What are society’s agreements that you’ve played into?” Tenenbaum asks. “What are your own agreements that have constrained you?” By making the unconscious conscious it becomes easier to choose differently. That, in turn, creates an opportunity to make choices that are better aligned with you and your values.
None of this is about caring less about your career. Rather, it's about building a fuller sense of self so you can weather any change with clarity and confidence — whether that change is chosen or forced.
Research shows that women remain highly engaged and motivated even amid high levels of burnout and uncertainty. This moment of transition, then, becomes a chance to design something better — not to abandon your professional identity, but to build a more complete version of yourself that isn't dependent on any single role or title. The work is hard, but the payoff is profound: greater resilience, clearer judgment, and the freedom to navigate your career from a place of choice rather than fear. In an uncertain world, this isn't just helpful — it's essential.
