Mita Mallick is a Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author. She’s a workplace strategist. Her most recent book is The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses. She’s currently on the advisory board of WellHub.

A few years ago, when I decided I wanted to serve on boards, I went on overdrive to prepare: I had a bio ready to go. I joined an organization which matches candidates to board opportunities. I even tried to write about those companies whose boards I wanted to join.

So I was incredibly excited when someone reached out to interview me for a board seat. After meeting with four board members, one of the key investors, the two founders, and the Chief People Officer, I was ready for this opportunity. Then one of the founders asked to connect one evening. This was the call I had been waiting for.

“Would you want to join as our Chief Marketing Officer? He’s going to leave and you would be a great fit. We would love to extend you an offer.”

I was floored. I was flattered. But  that was  not the role I wanted. I tried to again convey my interest in the board seat, and he kept going back to the CMO role. Finally, I politely declined. He said he would come back to me on the board seat. He never did.

“You are showing up like an operator, not an advisor,” a mentor said when I told her the story. “Board members aren’t executing. We are shaping direction based on our experience and what we have seen in the marketplace. We help challenge assumptions. We support the CEO and the vision for the company.”

My mentor was right. After a series of interviews for a number of board seats, I had to pause and reassess my plan. I landed on three guiding principles I started to focus on. Now, here’s what I share with others on their journey to serve on a board:

1. Reposition your language from doing to guiding.

In interviews, I wasn’t positioning myself as a peer or an advisor to the CEO. I was unknowingly positioning myself as a member of their executive team. I was busy talking about the large teams I had built and led, my ability to drive large scale initiatives, and my track record of owning outcomes and over delivering on KPIs. I needed to shift away from execution and doing. I needed to go back through my experiences, and focus on guiding, coaching and advising.

Here are some examples of how I repositioned and shifted my language, to share stories of where I influenced:

As an operator, I would say:I led the reduction of costs and improved margins for a major product launch.

As someone looking for a board seat, I would say:I worked closely with the CEO and CFO to evaluate the financial tradeoffs behind reducing our costs and improving margins. We weighed the short-term and long-term implications. My perspective helped influence the final decision they made.

As an operator, I would say:

I prepared all the board materials, presented to the board, and briefed the board on our progress.

As someone looking for a board seat, I would say:

I advised the CEO and key members of the executive team on how to frame issues to the board. We discussed what to escalate and weighed which decisions to bring to the board or not. This strengthened the way in which the CEO interacted with the board.

I focused on sharing experiences where I evaluated, assessed, and provided oversight to show my value as a potential board member.

2. Demonstrate your strategic oversight capabilities versus jumping into problem-solving.

I remember in one board interview, the CEO asked my opinion on entering a new market. Should they do it or not? I said, yes, of course they should. I jumped into providing immediate solutions. I gave my quick analysis of the market, ideas for providing a go-to-market plan, my thoughts on competitors, and how I would build a launch strategy. I was in problem-solving mode, and not in advisor mode. I was not providing strategic oversight or serving as an advisor. It makes sense now that they offered me the CMO role.If I was in a board interview and asked this again, I would offer questions to clarify the strategic rationale and weigh the risks, rather than offering the immediate solution:

  • If we enter this market, what problem does it help solve for the business?
  • What does the investment look like in terms of capital and talent?
  • What does the data tell us? From a marketplace and competitive stand point? Is this the right time to do this?

I would focus on being in advisor mode; slowing down and asking questions to help them assess whether or not this was the right decision to make at this moment.

3. Finally, start attracting the right board opportunities.

In the beginning, I was interviewing for any and all board opportunities coming my way. Once I started to position myself differently in board interviews, I also started thinking of companies that aligned with my purpose and values.

For the immediate future, I started to focus on private company boards, where I could advise a company on how to scale and evolve. Help them navigate major transitions, long term growth and resiliency of the company. I also started telling mentors and friends about my board aspirations, and specific industries of interest including consumer & lifestyle, technology, and media and communications.

As I did this, the right board opportunities started coming away. In fact, a friend recommended me to serve on an advisory board with her just this year. After a series of interviews, it was the right fit so I said yes.

My journey to serve on boards is a good reminder that we often have the qualifications. And how we market and position ourselves for opportunities, including board seats, can be the difference-maker on whether others think we are ready or not.